A Ray of Light

A few days into my journey, still kicking against nature,
I swung at what turned out to be poison oak.

I cursed my carelessness and
my anticipated discomfort and pain.

Truly all creation is against me, I murmured.

Later that day, I tripped in a bone-dry creek bed,
smashing my knee against a rock.
I remember grimacing in pain toward an empty sky.

As I lay there, I recalled words my father had spoken to me
while on a hunt: “WE who lose our footing have lost our
way,” he had said. “Our walking is in darkness.”

What did he mean by walking in darkness? I wondered, as
I picked myself up and limped on my way. And what did
darkness have to do with stumbling in daylight?

Despite my anger toward my father, in that moment I had to
accept that I had seen my father, and the great ones among
our people, sure-footed and rooted upon the earth as any
tree or plant, yet as light as a seed upon the wind.

This memory awakened my life to light
and for a moment brightened a son’s hurting heart.

Light and Darkness

Young friend, each morning offers lessons in light.
For the morning light teaches the most basic of truths:

Light chases away darkness.

We order our physical lives by this truth, for good reason.
Our own instruments of sight, our eyes,
mislead and are weak in the dark.

We need help from above
if we are to make progress in our journeys.

So we begin each day’s walk after the great light
illuminates the terrain around us.

In this, we are wise in the walking of our feet.

But, young friend, are we as wise in the walking of the heart?

Do you and I allow light to
chase darkness from our souls as well?

This was the meaning of my father’s saying.
Darkness within clouds the world without.

Perhaps I stumbled in the creek bed because
I was too troubled on the inside to see with clarity.

And maybe I failed to recognize the poison oak
because I had turned my heart from the light.

In hills, as well as in villages and cities, hazards
and predators find those who walk backward.

My young friend, having seen your day
and the dangers that lurk in its shadows,
I repeat the words that first pointed me toward light:

“WE who lose the light within have lost our way.”

I ask you:

Does your heart walk forward in the light?

Illumination of the Heart

My own answer to that question has been,
“Sometimes yes and sometimes no.”

But after many days of hating my life amid the hills,
I began to welcome the dawn—and the trees, valleys,
and streams that were illuminated by it.

I could feel my heart walking farther and my feet stepping
with more assurance upon the earth.

Just as the morning light sweeps away the night, the darkness
within me began to be chased away by a dawn in my soul.

Then and many times since, my body and my heart have
been illuminated alike—each of them saved by a sun.

Young friend, have you felt what I am speaking of?

Have you felt light in your soul?

Have you felt warmth where before was coldness?

Have you discovered insight where
before you had been blind?

As great as is the light above us,
greater by far is the light within.

The outward light is but a reflection of the inner.

The Source of the Light

I know the source of this light.

During my days of solitude, I have come to know Him well.

“Him?” you ask.

Yes, Him.

I speak of the Creator. He has walked with me often
in my journeys, and it has been by learning to walk
with Him that I have learned to walk forward.

Are you surprised by my candor?

In a world that has killed the sacred,
mention of it can seem shocking, even foolhardy.

But how foolhardy it is to kill the sacred!

And how shocking to think that we could!

For there is always a light that walks forward.

When I was very young, I played in that light;
I learned to play walking forward. I know this must be so,
for I loved those I played with.

For even in my darkest hour, when love was far from me,
he who is light walked near.

How do I know?

Because of what I have already mentioned—
because of the dawns in my soul.

Darkness cannot illuminate itself any more than
night can call itself day.

Light means that the sun is near.

The dawns I have felt in my soul testify that
I am known by the Giver of light.

To walk forward, I need only walk where he shows me.

Messengers of the Light

All creation shows us how to follow the Creator’s light.

Look around and learn.

Notice how the hills receive the dawn.
They feel no attachment to darkness.
As quickly as the sun rises, the darkness from them flees.

You will witness the same response in the trees,
the valleys, and the streams.

And notice as well that all nature flourishes in the light.

The hills and the trees reach to greet it.
The grasses in the valleys grow tall and green
under its influence. The stream shimmers and
multiplies the light to all that are around it.

In the early days of my running, nature’s acceptance
of the light stood in stark contrast to my own. For I had
turned my back to the light—my thoughts and feelings
withering in bitterness, so centered on myself that I had
neither thought nor desire to reflect on others.

But the elements of nature were never offended
by the back that I turned. They still reached,
they still shimmered, they still grew.

By so doing, they kept inviting me to turn again to
the light—to join them in stretching forth my arms,
brightening my thoughts, and conversing again with others.

In these and other ways, the hills, the trees, the valleys,
and the streams testify of the Creator and his walking.

If you listen, you will hear them do so,
for his voice can be heard in them.

It is a beckoning voice—
a voice that calls us to walk forward.

A voice that brightens both soil and soul.

A voice that invites us to join him.